Diary of an Activist, Fear of Failure

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activism, activist, amanda reaume, Antigone Foundation, Antigone Magazine, Diary of an Activist, failure, fear, harry potter, harvard, J.K. Rowling, reaume

I think the hardest part of being an activist is the constant fear of failure that you experience. Especially when you are the one in charge, there can be a constant fear that the dreams and programs that you are proposing or organizing will not work out. There are so many things that could potentially go wrong. You might worry that you won’t get funding. That no one will care. That you won’t make a difference.

When you have the energy and ideas to do something that you believe is important and yet you can’t get the money or the interest or the political traction to ensure that the change or the event happens – this is very frustrating. Sometimes just the fear of not having the money, the interests or political traction is enough to cause you to rethink the whole project. What happens if you decide to organize an event and it fails. What is failure? It all depends on what your goals are and if your goals are quite ambitious… what you define as failure might be someone else’s wild success.

When the cause means so much to you, when your activist identity and self are so integrally wrapped up in the activist work that you are doing, then how frightening and disabling does fear of failure become? How do we push on in the face of fear and obstacles?

Right now, I am working on a number of projects for The Antigone Foundation. One example is the cross-Canada Dreams for Women Leadership Tour. The Cross-Canada Dreams for Women Leadership tour will involve the Antigone Foundation visiting at least 5 cities across Canada where we will run one day long Leadership Boot Camps with the help of local leaders, organizations, and volunteers. We will be providing leadership training to girls aged 10-30. The purpose is to get more young women involved in leadership, politics, activism, and feminism.

As I prepare to start coordinating the Dreams for Women Leadership Tour, I am afraid. I fear that no one will want to sponsor us. I fear that we will not be able to get women to participate. I fear that we will not be able to put the tour on.

I fear all these things. But I also know that this tour will change the worlds of many young women. I hope that it will inspire people. I hope that it will lead to action and achievement and change. This knowledge and these hopes are what keeps me pressing on through the fears and putting myself and my organization out there.

Have Antigone and I failed at a project in the past? According to our expectations (which are always to take over the world), yes. But each ‘failure’ has been incredibly useful and educational. Sometimes the few people who have come out to an event have been instrumental or we have changed the mind or educated one person. To me, that is success. But an event turning out as planned is also a great success and what I always work towards.

Working towards it can be hard but it is also a mental game which takes a lot of energy. The excitement and hope for the event must be stronger than the fear of what you will lose if you fail. It takes a lot of energy because you (as an activist) must try to manifest the dream and the vision that you have for the event. And by manifesting a big dream and vision you are making yourself vulnerable. You are putting out into the dirty, mean world, an ideal and a cherished hope and dream. The world is not easy on these hopes and dreams. It will mock them, thwart them, ignore them, laugh at them, have contempt for them and do everything it does to degrade and demean them, sometimes on purpose and sometimes by accident.

I find that sometimes when I experience disappointment, I shrink back into myself for fear that this taste of failure will spread across the whole project. I begin to question myself. Who am I to believe that I can do this? Who am I to be dreaming this big? I start imagining everything going terribly wrong and then I have a hard time continuing on. I think that is one of my biggest struggles; maintaining hope and direction in the face of criticism and disappointment. I think I am learning how to do that though. And that is making me a better activist. A more resilient one. A more focused and determined one.

I have experienced things recently that I would have once seen as a failure. But these failures have been quite productive and important to me. They have made me see what is really important to me and what I really desire to do and achieve. They have forced me to focus myself on the things that I truly care about rather than diffusing my energies over a number of different sources. I am feeling something akin to what J.K. Rowling spoke about during a commencement address she gave at at Harvard:

Failure meant a stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was and I began to direct all my energy into finishing the only work that mattered to me. Had I really succeeded at anything else I might never have found the determination to succeed in the one arena where I truly belonged. I was set free because my greatest fear had been realized and I was still alive and I still had a daughter who I adored and I had an old typewriter and a big idea. And so rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I built my life. You might never fail on the scale that I did but some failure is inevitable.

It is impossible to live your life without failing at something unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all. In which case, you fail by default. Failure gave me an inner security that I have never achieved by passing examinations. Failure gave me an inner security that I could not have attained any other way. I discovered that I had a strong will and more discipline than I had suspected. I also found out that I had friends whose value was more than rubies. The knowledge that you have emerged wiser and stronger from setbacks means that you are, ever after, secure in your ability to know yourself or the strength of your relationships.  It is a true gift that has been painfully won and it has been worth more than any qualification I have ever achieved.

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The Preliminary UNCSW 54 Post-Mortem

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Commission on the Status of Women, United Nations

This is the final part of a series on the 54th United Nations Commission on the Status of Women. Click on a link to read further.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7 , Part 8 , Part 9
I will probably write more than just one post-mortem on the 54th Commission of the Status of Women for me. I’m writing while staying up too late in Calgary, waiting impatiently to be home with my kids, and have stayed up to that point that I’m scared that if I go to sleep that I will miss my plane.

I didn’t actually get to see Senator Clinton. I had referred to her in my tweets, facebook and blog as “Hillary” and some other tweeple sent out a message to people blogging and tweeting the CSW asking that we refer to the Senator by her proper title. The Feminist communication on this is that when people refer to male politicians they do so by either the proper title and last name, or simply last name.

I suppose referring to a public or professional official by their first name kind of implies a familiarity that isn’t seen as respectful as the title-last-name thing. I’m not that picky about much. I usually refer to people by name because I’m never totally sure of their proper titles (unless it’s an easy one like “president” or “minister”) and I’m usually too lazy to google.

All of that, however, is secondary to the fact that I didn’t actually get to see her address the United Nations on the last day of the CSW. I did wait for over two hours in a line where I was shouted at by UN security personnel. I started livetweeting that after one of the security guards yelled viciously at a woman who looked over seventy. She had approached the guard because she wasn’t sure which line she should have been in.

Antigone Launches Feminist Social Networking Site on International Women’s Day!

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Blog for IWD, canadian, change., feminist, movement, social networking, women

This post is part of Blog for International Women’s Day

Hi Friends!

Happy International Women’s Day!
My name is Amanda Reaume and I am the Executive Director of The Antigone Foundation. We believe it’s time for Canada’s feminists and women’s organizations to work together to leverage the power of social networking to connect around common causes and concerns across the country, both online and in person.

That is why we are launching Antigone Connect , an online site working to engage women’s organizations and feminists across the country to work collaboratively for women’s rights and equality in Canada and around the world.

Our Goal:

We are hoping to create a powerful online network that will be able to help lead the Canadian women’s movement forward in the coming years. As we approach Canada’s 150th Anniversary, we are all aware that there is a great deal more to be done in Canada to ensure women’s equality. More women in politics and managerial positions, accessible child care, changes to the Indian Act, equal pay, and equal pensions are just a few of the things that the Royal Commission on the Status of Women identified as necessary for equality nearly fifty years ago. They have still not been fully realized and this is going to take cooperation and coordination to accomplish.

Canadian Women’s History

This past fall, Antigone Magazine put together an issue about Canadian Women’s History and we spoke to Marilou McPhedran. She talked about how women organized around constitutional issues in the 1980s to ensure that women were included within the Charter of Rights and Freedoms. As McPhedran mentions, they did this without even a fax machine. With phone trees, letters to MPs and a lot of conviction, these women changed our country. We can too. Many of us now have access to e-mail, the internet, social networking, maybe even Blackberries and Smartphones. Some also have well paying jobs and contacts with women and men in power who support work for women’s equality. We owe it to our foremothers to leverage all the technologies and privileges that we have to connect and make sure that their legacies are not forgotten.

Your Help

But this network is not going to happen overnight. We need your help in the days and weeks ahead to expand it and bring to the table the voices of women from all backgrounds, from groups that might not readily identify as feminists, or those who might have difficulties accessing the internet, and the voices of women and men that are allies to the work that we do. We need you to tell people about it. To e-mail your contacts about it. To post it on Facebook or Twitter. To contact your friends who might have worked for feminist causes in the past but who have gone off in other directions. To help the technically unsavvy negotiate the technology! We need to come together to create this network across Canada.

Canadian Women’s Future!

Inspired by the next issue of our magazine (to be released in March 2010) entitled The Future of Feminism, we will be offering individuals and organizations opportunities to write about their visions for Canadian feminism. In blog entries, on Antigone Connect forums, on Dreams for Women postcards, and by leading online chats, we invite people to contribute to imagining the future of feminism. Email us at antigonemagazine at hotmail.com if you are interested in helping out.

Join Us

We launched this campaign this week and we are moved and excited by the response so far. It would be great to see you at Antigone Connect.

Thanks in advance for giving this a few minutes of your time, and for sharing this message with anyone you know who would like the women of Canada to unite together to transform our country.

Thank you!

Amanda Reaume and the Antigone Team

Executive Director, The Antigone Foundation
www.antigonefoundation.wordpress.com
Author and blogger, Some Leaders Are Born Women
www.someleadersarebornwomen.wordpress.com

photo credit: wikimedia commons

UNCSW 54: March 4

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Commission on the Status of Women, international women's day, United Nations

This post is part of a series on the 54th United Nations Commission on the Status of Women. Click on a link to read further.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7 , Part 9 , Part 10
I am lagging lagging lagging behind, but luckily for me, I have been live tweeting, which means that not only can interested readers follow along in point form (search #csw54 at twitter.com) but I can go back and refresh my memory from the tweets!

March 4th (Thursday) seemed to hold a Rural women’s theme. I began the day at a session highlighting the work of the Salesian Sisters in rural South America. The Sister’s panel was made up of women who had accessed their services in Ecuador and Guatemala. The women talked about the circumstances that they had come to the Sisters from.

UNCSW 54 March 3rd

Tags

Commission on the Status of Women, United Nations

This post is part of a series on the 54th United Nations Commission on the Status of Women. Click on a link to read further.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 8 , Part 9 , Part 10

March 3rd was the day that the United Nations Celebrated International Women’s Day. The occasion is celebrated a few days before the actual event to allow Delegates to the UN the chance to get home in time to celebrate with their communities.

I started the Day at the NGO general briefing at the Salvation Army. A South East Asian delegate asked if we could lobby for a resolution specific to women in extreme poverty and women with disability with our respective government meetings and regional caucuses. The Women’s Labour Congress also asked us to join them in their lobby for a resolution on women’s economic empowerment, and women from Arabic women’s caucus would like to see a resolution on women in occupied territories, and the general women’s labour group finished and released a draft of their open letter to the Secretary General about the long lines and poor state of the UNCSW.

After the NGO debrief I moved back to the main building and made my way to the overflow room (Conference Room 2) to watch the UN celebration of International Womens Day.

It was very nice, the Secretary General made a wonderful and engaging address. He spoke about the way that he honors women because he is a husband and a father and a grandfather. He talked about how important he felt it was for men throughout the world to recognize that violence against women is a direct violation of their inalienable human rights.

Feminists Who Totally Rock, Part 1

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Feminists Who Totally Rock

Welcome to the first post of Feminists Who Totally Rock!

Today I am pleased to present two interviews, one with Rebeca Monzo and one with Terrie Chan. Read on and enjoy!

Rebeca Monzo is one of the head co-ordinators of the Beautiful One Conference as well as an ordained minister!

What was it that inspired you to become a feminist?

To be honest I have never really thought of myself as a feminist.  That being said I have always had a strong desire to work with teen girls.  That desire was inspired by the obvious need to shine a light on the unrealistic standards and expectations that are placed on girls by pop culture. I want to encourage, empower and equip teenage girls to live their life to its potential.

What kind of work do you do?

I work with youth both in the church setting as well as in the community where I mentor teen girls and help coach a Sr. Girl’s volleyball team.  I also work with girls through the Beautiful One Conference which is a faith based yearly event designed to empower, equip and encourage teen girls.

What feminist issue is particularly important to you?

I believe that every girl should be afforded the opportunity to pursue education allowing them to achieve their goals and live out their dreams no matter where they live.

What is your dream for Women?

My dream for women is that they would be confident in who they are and live out that confidence in every area of their life.

Which unknown or young feminist would you like the world to know about?

This is a tough one.  I know a lot of strong women who are actively making a difference in the lives of girls and women.

Terrie Chan is a student at UBC Vancouver. This summer she worked for a non-governmental organization in Hong Kong called The Women’s Foundation.

1) What was it that inspired you to become a feminist?

I was inspired to become a feminist for many reasons. The most prominent reason being that women are not, no matter how many people say that we have, won our equal standing in society- or at least in Canada. There are [still] many [areas] in life that women can[not] participate fully [in], or be treated as an equal. There are also many things to be done in order to protect the safety of girls and women, or simply  to be viewed just as valuable as a male counterpart.

2) What kind of work do you do?

I try to fit in feminism in my life and to reflect this to my friends and family. Whenever I get the chance, I talk about the situation of women and girls around the world, which I think is an issue needing attention. In terms of work with credentials, I spent one month in Hong Kong this summer with an NGO named The Women’s Foundation for an internship. That was my first experience with a NGO with a focus on women and girls.

3) Which feminist issue is particularly important to you?

I am most interested in sex trafficking, domestic violence, and women within law.

4) What is your Dream for Women:

My dream for women is for all women to understand their self-worth and that it is not okay when a man treats you as his possession or simply in a bad way, and for all women to understand they deserve respect. It is my hope that all women will have that self-confidence, and that they will stop blaming themselves when a man does them harm. I also hope that women can finally see that they can be just as successful as any man or woman on the planet. Finally, I think we need to accept a norm wherein women do not feel pressured to be sexy or possess a certain ‘male trait’ to be successful. Hopefully this will allow men who have this attitude to discover something other than their present normative thinking-that women are somehow of lesser value compared to men.

Antigone participates in Equal Voice Experiences

We’ve been featured! Check out the Equal Voice Experiences June newsletter here featuring our own Amanda Reaume, Kristen Myres, and Emily Yakashiro!

Experiences is a mentorship program that aims to engage girls and young women in learning and thinking about the impact of politics on their lives and how they might become involved.

For the most part, young women, don’t think like the average politician.

You’ve probably noticed this.
…
In fact, young people are very distinct in their way of thinking, and young women’s perspectives and priorities often differ from men’s.

That’s why it matters that your voices are heard, your views represented and your experiences considered.

Equal Voice has created Experiences for that very reason. Learn all about it – and some of the astonishing stories that inspired us – right here.

BC Women in Business Forum presented by TD Bank Financial Group

BC Women in Business Forum presented by TD Bank Financial Group

Sponsors: Title Sponsor: TD Bank Financial Group. Speaker Series Sponsors: KPMG, National Post, Xerox, Business in Vancouver
Location: Hycroft,1489 McRae Avenue, Vancouver
Date & Time: April 24, 2008 11 15 A.M. – 2 30 P.M.

Join us for our 3rd BC Women in Business Forum. Hear from accomplished women leaders as they share their career paths, how they overcame challenges and obstacles, and find out their personal lessons learned. Network with other women in business. This event is part of our Women in Leadership Speaker Series held across Canada. Free lunch and Free admission.

Panel:
Mary O’Callaghan, Senior Principal in KPMG’s Advisory Practice
Linda Zanette, District Vice President, TD Bank Financial Group
Martine Normand, VP Human Resources, Xerox
Debra Hoggan, President, Business Design Group
Moderated by: Margot Micallef, CEO of Vista Broadcasting

11:15 am – 12:00 pm Registration for Panel, Lunch and Networking
• Free catered Luncheon/Networking
12:00 pm – 1:15 pm Panel Presentation
1:30 pm – 2:30 pm Entrepreneurship Workshop, “So you want to be an entrepreneur” Presented by Heather Martin, Women’s Enterprise Centre

Visit their site and register!

WAGS at UBC: International Women’s Day Event

WOMEN’S & GENDER STUDIES AT UBC: 35 YEARS OF CREATING COMMUNITIES OF
LEARNERS

HELD IN CONJUNCTION WITH INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY

March 7, 2008, 3:00-6:00

Graduate Student Centre Penthouse, UBC

3:00-3:30 Introductions – Wendy Frisby (Chair, Women’s & Gender Studies)
& Sheanthi DeSilva (President, Women’s and Gender Studies Undergraduate
Association)

3:30 – 4:30 Undergraduate Women’s and Gender Studies Research Panel –
Katherine Lyon, Saadia Rai, Amina Rai and Sheelah Ziajka

4:30-5:15 – Keynote Speaker – Dr. Yvonne Brown, Personal Reflections of
a Mother Teacher on Gender, “Race,” Sexual Orientation, Disability and
Indigenous Struggles for Equality at UBC 1977-2007

5:15-6:00 – Reception & Retirement Celebration for Dr. Yvonne Brown –
Enjoy delicious food and help celebrate Dr. Yvonne Brown’s retirement.

Children Welcome

Why Women’s & Gender Studies in High School?

Tags

miss g project, women's studies, young people

I remember spending the majority of my high school career unenlightened and absorbing the information given to me without question. As I moved into post-secondary education, I was introduced to the plethora of ideas and theories that outright contradicted what I understood to be “true” or essential. For me, one of these ideas was feminism. Feminism and women’s & gender studies was one among many subjects that redefined (and still is) my definition(s) of society. Why must high school students wait until they reach college or university to become exposed to not only feminist studies but other realms of innovative thought? These ideas should not be restricted to academia but instead taught at lower levels, especially in high school where one is first encouraged to supposedly develop critical thinking instead of absorbing information like a drone.

The Miss G Project seeks to establish an interdisciplinary approach by integrating Women’s & Gender Studies into the high school curriculum. Shannon Mills, a teacher in Ontario, recently taught a brand new Women’s Studies course at her high school:

A semester of ‘surfing the Third Wave’ of feminism alongside a diverse mix of adolescents—some timidly dipping their toes in the water, others eager to dive full force into the most challenging breakers—has served to strengthen my personal belief that a women’s studies course is essential for today’s teens. At a time when young women are bombarded with pornographic messages gone mainstream, in a society where raunch culture is cited as “the new feminism,” in a decade when even prominent feminists recognize that the women’s movement is experiencing a dangerous backlash, it is more important than ever to provide students with a curriculum which equips them with a sense of integrity, entitlement, and empowerment. (. . .)

I know all too well the frustration of attempting to establish a balanced gender perspective in the classroom, having revised my senior-level history course repeatedly over the last five years. It disappoints me to realize that the high school curriculum continues to reflect what one of my professors aptly termed the “add-women-and-stir methodology.” Women’s issues are still relegated to the sidebars of textbooks; women’s concerns continue to be presented as tangential topics within the bulk of the core curriculum. In my classroom, despite my best efforts, Michelangelo still eclipses Gentileschi, Napoleon continues to trump Wollstonecraft.

An entire semester devoted to the study of issues affecting women historically, politically, and globally gives teachers the rare chance to dig deeply into topics which the traditional curriculum only grazes. (Originally published in the OSSTF Update Vol. 33 No. 7, February 15, 2006.)

The course was received with much acclaim and praise from students. Male students also benefit from women’s studies—being a feminist doesn’t mean you have to be female. In fact, it takes a lot of courage. Perhaps if more students, female and male, have an opportunity to study Women’s Studies, they will begin to have a better understanding of the interlocking issues that encompass gender (and) politics and begin to voice their criticisms and concerns. To take an active interest in what’s happening in their communities, country and world is something we’d all like to achieve.